Double Entendre

Dirty dirty. That's what that means...

Yeah, so I took this picture in hopes that I would look as scene as possible. No, not really. I did get really bored in the woods with my tripod, though. I suppose boredom turns one into a narcissistic prick. I do tend to snap a lot of photos of myself when I'm bored. ...I honestly don't know where I was going with this paragraph.

Ok, so this is my first post. Hai internets! My birth name is Amber but I was dubbed "Hammie" by my parents when I was a youngin'. I'm not sure why, really. I know my pops, Gawd bless him, used to call me Ham Sandwich when we'd go fishin' at my Oma and Opa's house. He was an interesting guy. In fact, there were a lot of "ham" references when it came to my name. "Hammie" was really the only one that stuck and now everyone knows me by it.

I'm a random individual and I thrive off of spontenaity. I come off as shy at first but I get progressively louder. I can't really spell but I'm a professional writing minor. I work full time at PAWS Humane as a dog adoptions counselor. Pooper scooper, urine mopper. But I adore my job. How was that for six choppy sentences?

I must say, blogging has really changed since I last partook in the sport. I had a LiveJournal back in '02. I had a lot of friends at first and then they started trickling off. I kept it updated until recently, actually, and then MySpace "blogging" sucked me in all together. But this -- this is awesome. You can UPLOAD pictures and the layout isn't all hokey (pokey smokey artichokey). I tried Xanga once, too, but I couldn't get into it at all. LameXcore. LameSauce. Lame.

Mein Kampfy Chair. Yes, I went there. Published by Penguin Booksellers, Mein Kampfy Chair is an in-depth look into Adolf Hitler's 1930's era La-Z-Boy recliner. Inside you will find pocket lint, ashes (cigarette), 26 or so Pfennings, Schindler's List, bread crumbs, syphallis, a small child, and the other half of his moustache.

Now I'm just being silly. But isn't that the point?

So more about me I guess, since the first date is supposed to be introductory and all. I love, love, love to stay in touch. This doesn't necessarily mean I'm nosey I don't guess. I just like to know what's going on out there. I always have my phone on me, I have had a countless number of social networking accounts over the years, and I try to never burn my bridges. Through getting to know me, you will learn that I get the "hook-up" everywhere because of the not burning my bridges thing.

...Seriously. I can name a few examples. I get piercings and tattoos on the cheap cheap at about three different shops, I get discounted alcohol at the liquor store, if certain bands are playing at bars a cover charge doesn't apply to me, if I'm tired of walking after a shopping spree at the strip mall there are two people that will give me a ride in that green cart thingy, I get all the stamps on my frequent buyer card at a couple places for only buying one item, anything at the automotive store is at least half off -- there are probably a few more examples but I can't think of them at the moment. I'm too busy halfway watching my dog dream about running.

Needless to say, never burn your bridges and help people out whenever and however you can. It makes you a cooler person and you get the hook up. Plus Karma always comes back around.

I think I'm going to leave you guys with that. This. That. Whatever. That. Anyway. Take care internets. I'll see you tomorrow. Well, today. But it's more like tomorrow. Whatever.